Repurposing and Recommiting

It is so hard to stick with things. I get bogged down by details and easily distracted by my ever-changing obsessions and before I know it it has been 6 months and where am I? Right back at the beginning.

Well.... not quite. I went out and bought myself, or rather, my son, a jogging stroller off craigslist late this summer. And Zane and I have been jutting around town in it every so often. For a while this summer I was pretty consistent. For a while meaning about a week.....

And without hardly any training I ran the Detroit Free Press Marathon in a relay team. I took two of the five legs of the race, a total of 7.4 miles, because in a near constant twist of fate, our babysitter cancelled on us so my husband couldn't do his portion of the race with us.

The weeks leading up to the race, I was ever the slacker. And so those weeks were also weeks of building stress. In the final days leading up to it, I managed to subdue that doubtful little demon that haunts me, and convinced myself in a fit of false bravado and confidence, that this would be a piece of cake. I just kept repeating over and over, I can do this, I can do this, it is a mother-flocking piece of yellow cake with chocolate frosting.

And you know what, that is exactly what it was. It was the smoothest 7.4 miles I have ever run, with the exception of the first 7.4 miles I ran during the 2008 Freep Full Marathon I ran last year, after months of preparation. This time, I nearly sailed the remaining distance of the race, never stopping at all, never waning, flying past the poor souls who were running their LAST 7.4 of the 26.2 miles they had committed to. Even though I knew how these flailing extremists felt because I had been there, done that, and I knew that the only reason that I could pass them with such vigor was because they had already run 18.8 miles when I had just started, fresh and relaxed, I still felt amazing. I NEVER pass people. And here I was, smoking people right and left. I attribute this feeling of accomplishment, as well as my mental preparation, for running and finishing so strongly.

Our relay team, Team Totally Rad!, finished in about 5h30m. A Marathon finishing time I dream of. And after passing the finish line and meeting up with my friends, I felt like I could have gone the whole way, at least in spirit. My legs prolly would have fallen off sooner rather than later.

Why can't I run that way every day, I wondered? My usual 3-5 mile loops are usually some kind of torture, every step heavy, the universe tugging me in the opposite direction.....

I've come to the determination that running, as with any major lifestyle commitment, is more mind over matter than anything else. At least until it is ingrained in you, like breathing or eating or reading. It takes all the false motivation and bravado you can muster, the forced smile of fortitude that you force yourself to feel, the re-enforcement of positive thoughts towards the direction you want to go. All it is is that you have to fake it until you can force your mind to believe that it is real. And then THAT becomes your reality.

And so here I am, once again recommitting to something that I want very badly. I refuse to be distracted anymore with things that are meaningless to me. I am a runner. I am a runner. I am a runner. At least, that is what I tell myself.

I think I'll go run now.

My New Favorite Thing

Running podcasts! I discovered a few on iTunes after I ran out of episodes of Wait Wait Dont Tell Me and I am in love with them.

I tuned in to Nigel of Running from the Reaper and I am hooked. Made my run go by so fast I hardly could believe it was over. There's a whole bunch I've now subscribed to, so every run I'll try a new one and see what I think of it.

I liked Running from the Reaper because Nigel is sort of an everyrunner kind of guy, experiencing the same set backs and issues that many of us lesser mortals experience, while experiencing the awe of running at the same time. It is easy to get caught up in the drudgery of endurance training, but we have to try to remember why we are doing it in the first place, and keep our perspective fresh.

So while rushing to get miles in, and stressing over our training and our health and our aching feet/shins/knees/back, if we can remember to listen to a bird twittering, or notice a patch of daffodils on the side of the trail, we can take a small breath of stillness and revel in a sense of peace and oneness with everything around us. YAY!

The NEW Plan

My NEW simplistic plan is:

30 minutes cardio every day (elliptical or run)
20 minutes core, pushups, squats
water, water, water
1200 - 1500 clean calories (little/no white)
at least 5 fruits/veggies

I'm determined to prove that change in lifestyle is all you need, not gym memberships or crazy suppliments.

I'm pretty much there already, except for the daily exercise. I meant to get up at 5:30 this morning for a run (ha!), since I didn't I will do the elliptical during nap time (Zane's, not mine).

I really really want to be a morning person!!! Tomorrow is another day.

I'm back and whatever...

OK so I haven't been here for a while, but rest assured that I have been doing some stuff. Like every weekend that is nice, I am running 4/4.5 miles or so a day. Last weekend I ran the Corktown Races (4 miles thru downtown Detroit), and finished in about 46 minutes (averaged about 11.36 MM). I was real happy with that, and enjoyed the post-run Fish & Chips and black and tans at the Baile Corraigh (pronounced Bally Cork). I know, really healthy! But.... It was ST. PATTY's Weekend in Corktown!!! Had to indulge!

I think I've been avoiding the blog simply because I am overthinking this whole thing. I don't really feel like I have anything profound enough to put in a blog, and I am also really lazy. But I think I'm going to start using this blog as my catharsis and I don't really care if you don't find it interesting.

But now that I have a race goal, I will be on here more often I expect. I have a couple halfs I am looking at for the end of May, I just have to pick which one I want to drive to. That gives me a little over 2 months to get up to that mileage. I think I can do it.

I also want to try for losing 2 pounds a week for the next 8 weeks. I know I can do that, I just have to stop making cakes, homemade bread, and brownies, and stop buying the cheap lemon cookies on my weekly grocery trips(I have to cut down on my grocery bill anyways.) We are planning to hit Eastern Market every weekend now that Spring has officially arrived (yay!) and so will have loads of fresh fruit and veg in the house. And I am going to convert some of my gardening space into veg so I can have fresh whenever I want! Lots of changes, old Max, lots of changes.

Stay tuned for pictures and more info on my plan..... Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Peace out.

Mind games

I grew up in a small town.  There were a lot of corn fields. I lived across the street from a cow farm, which was very pleasant in the summertime.  No, not really.

From the summer of my 13th year of birth, I was a de-tasseler.  This is the legacy of small farming communities, providing shit-loads of spending money to young kids - for college, for cars, for beer (barn parties were popular in my 'hood) and blurring the lines between the popular kids and the not-so-popular kids.  Everyone of age de-tassels.  And for four weeks out of the summer we are all on the same level.  At least, that is what if felt like to me.

Explanation:  Many farmers are paid by big hybrid companies to plant certain varieties of corn to create hybrids that are resistant to disease, drought, more nutritious for animals, cheaper to produce, etc. etc.  Then when the corn matures, these hybrid companies hire masses of teenagers and seasonal immigrants (anyone who says the seasonal immigrants do not take jobs away from Americans, ask a small town teenager who is trying to save up enough money to get out of their po-dunk town!) to go through the acres and acres and miles and miles of "female" corn, popping their tassels off (de-tasseling) so that they do not pollinate themselves and are thus pollinated by the "male" corn and creating a version of a hybrid.  I know, scientific!  I bet you had no idea this job even existed.

As a de-tassler, you wake up way before the crack of dawn every summer morning, meet everyone at the bus, and get driven to the field of the day.  You walk down a row of female corn with your arms in the air, for miles and miles popping tassels of as you go.  It takes a high degree of stamina to do this for 12 hours a day!  Not to mention the mental stress of it.  When you get into the field, it is a little disconcerting.  After only moments, all sounds of civilization are swallowed up by whispering corn stalks, and you are alone in the world.  It is easy to see how people could get lost if they weren't paying attention, and even easier to see where the inspiration for Children of the Corn came from.

After days of this, you cannot get the mud off your skin.  You cannot get the smell of raw corn out of your nostrils.  And all you see is corn fields.  When you close your eyes, you see corn.  When you are laying in bed at night, you hear the shish of corn leaves brushing together in the breeze.  When you sleep, you have nightmares about corn.  Sometimes, it is just a long unending row of corn you can never get out of.  When you are driving through the long empty back roads, you shudder at the sight of a cornfield.  Give me soybeans, wheat, mustard.  Anything but corn!

For years I had not thought about this experience.  My last summer of de-tasseling was I think when I was 17, after that I graduated to waitress at the local Pizza Hut (which is equally as disturbing but in totally different, grosser ways).  I realized yesterday though, that I get the same reaction from running.  After days of running, I cannot erase the feeling of the pavement from my feet, the briskness of the wind, the blur of the scenery.  I see it when I close my eyes, dream about it.  I cannot get the smell of the outside off my skin, the heat of exertion out of my body.  But where de-tasseling was a nightmare in my mind, running touches it like a soft summer breeze.  It is relaxing and fulfilling, and I didn't realize how much I missed it until I took my first run in months.  

Makes it a lot easier to keep it going.  :)

And on that note, but completely unrelated, here is an awesome cover of The Smiths "Headmaster Ritual" as done by Radiohead.  Crackin'!

I am a rock star!

OK so, today is my Birthday.  And it was warm.  Well, it was warm for Detroit.  It was like, almost 40 degrees today! And my husband was working from home today.  So on a whim I decided to go for a run during baby nap time.

This is the first road I've hit since late October, because I was being lazy and I'm a wimp about the cold and the wind.  There was still about 18 inches of snow piled around all the sidewalks, the ones that were shoveled anyway.  I did a lot of tip-toeing through slush puddles and hopping over snow drifts to get around.  I got a dose of cold water through the mesh in my shoe more than once....  And, despite these obstacles, I had a GREAT run.  I managed to run my 3.5 mile loop in 45 minutes.  This with a 5 minute warm up and cool down, which means I averaged a little over 12 minute miles!  I suppose that doesn't seem so great for people who are planning to qualify for Boston.  But this is top performance for me!

And I'm so stoked.  Because it means that I'm really a runner now.  That I could take months off, and still manage to run well on my first run outside in a while.  And I think it also means that the preparation I've been doing over the last month or so is really helping make my runs more effective.  I think, though, if I'm being honest with myself, that running just for the pure joy of it rather than to tick off another day of training, makes a big difference for me.  I just rocked out, and hit the pavement, without concern of timing or how far I HAD to go.  So freaking great!  Hurrah!

First week of the new me

OK so I'm almost at the end of week one of my new resolve and my new plan.  Here is the rundown of what I'm currently doing:

 - Logging all my food intake & exercise on sparkpeople.com.  This is very handy.  

You can just type in whatever food you ate and how much and they will automatically calculate all your vitals; calories, carbs, protein, fat.  It is kind of cool to see my life laid out for me so neatly, it makes it so much easier to see where I am and how I'm really doing.

-Water, water, water.  I am drinking it ice cold as that supposedly burns more calories.

-The Zone.  This is a very controversial plan, but it is actually a great and healthy way to eat if you are an athlete (or in my case, a wanna-be athlete or what I term myself: wathlete).  It is basically a method of eating where you balance your intake between carbs, fat and protein.  It is very scientific and at first seems complicated but once you get the hang, it's really quite great.  Last time I tried to do it, I did "A Week in the Zone"  - all the recipes for 3 meals and 2 snacks and my husband and I both lost a miraculous 10 pounds.*  No joke.  So why did I not stick to it you ask?  Because I'm a lazy procrastinator.  But all this week I stayed with it and while I'm not sure if I lost any weight, I have had so much energy and have never felt hungry.  So that is something different anyway!

-Workout skej:

Sunday:  HIIT Elliptical and Jillian Michaels' SELF workout (from January issue)

Monday: Rest

Tuesday: HIIT Elliptical and JM workout

Wednesday:  HIIT Elliptical and JM workout

Thursday:  HIIT Elliptical and JM workout

Friday:  Zumba

Saturday: HIIT Elliptical and Core for Runners (from Runner's World January issue)

According to SELF, this workout should help to lose up to 8 pounds this month.  I will give it a good go for the next 3 weeks and see how it goes.  I'm not really looking to drop a bunch of weight quickly, just try to get in shape so when I can get out on to the sidewalk (without a whole lot of snow)  I'll be ready.  I plan to change it up next month, hopefully the snow will go away a little bit and I can get on the sidewalk for some runs. 

-Slip ups:  I've done really well and I am very proud of myself.  I have many weaknesses (cheese crackers, chocolate, any kind of baked good, etc.), but I think the hardest thing for me is to go to the bar and not drink a lot of beer.  I don't get to go out much these days what with two little kids depending on their mommy not to be a drunk lush.  So when I do go out I really appreciate a good pint of beer.

Sidenote:  ODE TO BEER

I love beer.  I really really really love beer.  I love it in all its forms.  Dark Porters.  Silky Pilsners.  Bitey IPAs.  Oh yeah baby.  The feeling of the coldness dripping down my throat, the pleasant lovable buzz after the first pint.  Beer is great.  Beer is good.  All hail beer!

OK so back to slip ups.  I went out with some friends on Thursday to a bar famous for it's awesome karaoke.  I had resolved and planned the day around the inevitability of drinking beer.  But I was resolved to only drink one.  I even looked up the lowest calorie and carb beers available so I would know what to ask for.  I'm a beer snob so I usually get the more expensive, persnickety draft beers.  

I sang 2 songs:  1.  "Bei Mir Bist Du Schon" for Ralph, a very sweet, very cool, very old man who I met that night, who sings really old classics and tells a dirty joke after every one (he used to be a comedian).  And 2. "Hopelessly Devoted" which I sang for my twin friend Katey, who shares my birthday only a couples years after me,  for no better reason other than I love her.  It was, let me assure you, a very stirring rendition.  Although it sucked because all day Friday I had the damn song still in my head.  Stupid earworms!

As for beer.  I ended up drinking 3 Amstel Lights.  Amstel Lights are not good.  It was horrifying.  Even though I only ended up consuming 289 calories, it wasn't worth it.  Next time I will drink one (1!!!) pint of the good stuff and leave it at that.  Unlike most people, I don't need to be drunk to sing karaoke!

All in all a good week.  An eye opening week.  I am stronger than I think.  But I'm really sinking my teeth into this and I've decided that I really want to do it.  And usually when I really decide I want something, I find a way.  I can't wait!

*Results, as they say, are not typical.  But awesome nonetheless.